to the makers of GEO bear:
i don’t know what kind of sick sense of humor your company has, but i don’t think terrorizing children is very funny. three weeks ago, i made the mistake of buying your “GEO bear” as a present for my son’s 6th birthday. i wouldn’t usually give your product the time of day, but my tech-savvy teenage daughter convinced me after reading reviews online. the bear seemed to be a great gift out of the box, but after a few days it started insulting my son. i thought this was just a glitch at first, but the insults got worse and worse. i tried to return the bear, but the clerk said it was working fine. it wouldn’t repeat the insults at the store. she told me if i really believed it was broken i should send it back to you guys.
I’M DEMANDING REIMBURSEMENT FOR SHIPPING THIS OFFENSIVE TOY BACK TO YOU AND EXPECT A FULL REFUND. WHOEVER’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS SHOULD BE FIRED IMMEDIATELY.
this is the one time i’ll warn you before taking legal action.
Dear Mr. Rouftree,
We regret to inform you that we will neither reimburse you nor will our human resources department be taking any disciplinary actions with our staff.
We suspect you might have overlooked one of GEO’s unique selling points, its customizable location-based vocabulary. GEO’s API enables you to register the bear with personal information and locations. GEO’s wireless 4G service triggers different custom vocabulary depending on where he’s located. This technology gives GEO a layer of realism that earned him the Talking Toy of the Year Award for 2014.
Upon receiving your GEO bear, our technicians found that his custom database had been altered. It seems that someone hacked your bear from the location you defined as “home” during the online registration process.
We have reset your GEO bear to factory default settings and you’ll find we’ve given him a complimentary firmware upgrade.
Please keep in mind this is only a temporary solution. If you encounter these problems again, we’d recommend you speak with that “tech-savvy teenage daughter” of yours.
Customer Support Manager